A young preacher was asked by the local funeral director
to hold a graveside burial service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns. Eventually, a half-hour late, he saw a backhoe and its crew, but the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were eating lunch.
The diligent young pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place.
Taking out his book, he read the service. Feeling guilty because of his tardiness, he preached an impassioned and lengthy service, sending the deceased to the great beyond in style.
As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say: “I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years and I ain’t never seen anything like that.”
A passerby noticed a couple of city workers working along the city sidewalks.
The man was quite impressed with their hard work, but he couldn’t understand what they were doing.
Finally, he approached the workers and asked, “I appreciate how hard you’re both working, but what the heck are you doing? It seems that one of you digs a hole, and then the other guy immediately fills it back up again.”
One of the city workers explained, “The third guy who plants the trees is off sick today.”
A woman takes her little boy to visit their dead relatives’ gravestones at a cemetery.
The little boy has never been to a cemetery before. The woman first takes her son her grandmother Annie’s gravestone.
The initials under Annie’s name say R.I.P. The little boy asks, “Mommy, what does R.I.P. stand for?”
His mother replies, “It stands for ‘Rest in Peace.’ That means we wish for Grandma Annie’s spirit to find peace in the afterlife.”
Then, they come across the gravestone of the woman’s uncle Joe. The little boy asks, “Mommy, what does R.I.H. stand for?”, pointing to the initials printed under Uncle Joe’s name.
“We really didn’t like Uncle Joe.” Said his mother.
