A woman from Michigan and another from the East coast were seated side-by-side on an airplane.
The woman from Michigan, being friendly and all, said, “So, where are you from?”
The East coast woman said, “From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.”
The woman from Michigan sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, “So, where are you from, you silly bitch?”
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A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said:
“Let’s talk, I am sure that flights are faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and asked the stranger, “What would you like to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know”, said the stranger.
“How about n.u.clear power?” The girl asked.
“Ok,” he said “That could be an interesting topic!”
The girl continues: “But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”
“The stranger thinks about it and says: “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the little girl replies: “Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know s.hit?”
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There were five people aboard an airplane that was experiencing engine trouble and about to crash.
The problem? There were only four parachutes.
As everyone tried to figure out who should get the parachutes, the first person stood up and said, “I’m the smartest person to ever walk the Earth. The world cannot afford to lose me.” Without waiting for a response, he grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.
The second person said, “I’m a mother, and my family depends on me. I can’t let them down.” She quickly took a parachute and leapt out as well.
The third person declared, “I’m the head of my household and the sole breadwinner. My family’s survival depends on me.” With that, he grabbed a parachute and jumped too.
Now, only two people remained: a 65-year-old man and a 12-year-old boy.
The old man turned to the boy and said, “Son, I’ve lived a full life. You’re young and have your whole future ahead of you. You take the last parachute.”
The boy looked at him and smiled. “Don’t worry, Sir. There are still two parachutes left.”
The old man was puzzled. “How’s that possible?”
The boy chuckled and said, “Well, the guy who thought he was the smartest person on Earth? He grabbed my backpack.”
