Eleanor had been working in the Dead Letter Office for five years, but she’d never seen anything quite like this — an envelope addressed simply to “God” in shaky handwriting that looked like it had been written during an earthquake.
Inside was a letter that made her heart squeeze:
“Dear God, I’m Martha, 85 years young and running low on miracles. Some sneaky youngster with unusually fast hands swiped my purse yesterday with my entire month’s pension. $120. I’ve got five dear friends coming for Christmas dinner, and now I can’t even afford a can of cranberry sauce. I know you’re busy with world peace and all, but could you spare a miracle for an old lady with a sweet tooth and empty cupboards? Love, Martha (the one with the crooked garden gnome collection at the end of Maple Street).”
Eleanor shared the letter with her coworkers. By lunch, they’d collected $116, raiding coffee funds, lunch money, and that secret candy bar stash everyone pretended not to know about.
A week after Christmas, another letter arrived:
“Dear God, You’re a real peach! That $116 you’d left in my mailbox made for the best Christmas dinner ever! My friends said it was divine intervention. I’d say they’re right! Even my arthritis felt better!
P.S. Some sticky-fingered postal worker must’ve skimmed $4 off the top. Might want to look into that. I hear you’ve got connections with Santa’s naughty list! Love, Martha.”
An Old Woman Walked Into A Supermarket.
The old lady is in the supermarket and starts throwing the frozen veggies on the floor, so the manager asks if he can help.
“I’m looking for Broccoli.”
He informs her that they are out of stock, and she leaves.
An hour later she is back throwing the frozen veggies onto the floor, the irate manager asks again if he can help.
“I’m looking for Broccoli.”
Once again he informs her that they are out of stock.
15 mins before closing, she comes stalking straight to the frozen veggies, as she is about to start throwing them out, the very irritated manager asks can I help.
“I’m looking for Broccoli.”
The Manager asks Madam can you spell Dog in Dogmore.
She says yes ”DOG.”
“Very good, can you spell Cat in Catsdelight.”
She says “CAT.”
“Very good, now can you spell F in Broccoli.”
She says, ”there’s no F in Broccoli.“
“Madam, I’ve been trying to tell you that all day!!!”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
