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A Steak or a Fillet?

After browsing the restaurant menu, I had a question for the waitress.

“About the salmon entrée, is that a steak or a fillet?”

“Neither,” she said. “It’s a fish.”

“How many cups of coffee will this hold?”

the man asked as he placed a large thermos on the lunch-room counter.

“Six cups,” advised the waitress.

“Fine,” replied the man. “Give me two cups regular, two cups black, and two with extra cream.”

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night.

She was still feeling bloated from lunch, so she was fearful of farting in front of her date, who hadn’t arrived yet.

It wasn’t long before she actually did let one out, but she managed to cover up the sound with a fake cough.

She continued waiting for her date to arrive, but wanted to make sure everything was perfect.

As she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up.

Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands “Stop that!”

The waiter looks at her dryly and says

“Certainly, madam. Which way was it headed?”

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