A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at a large gathering, and his blonde hostess broached a subject of which the doctor was most at ease.
“Doctor, would you mind telling me,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in someone who appears completely normal?”
“Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask a simple question, one which anyone should be able to answer without any problem. If he or she hesitates, that puts you on the track.”
“What sort of question?” asked the hostess.
“Well, you might ask, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'” the doctor replied.
The blonde thought for a moment, then said, “You wouldn’t happen to have another example, would you? I’ve never known very much about history!”
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist,
“You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly.”
On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?”
“Yes”, the boy’s mother answered.
“And how is your son now?” the psychiatrist asked.
“Who cares?” the mother replied.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
“Well!” said the Director. “We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”
“Oh, I understand!” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”
“No.” said the Director. “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?”
A doctor walks into a room full of patients at a mental institution,
takes out a pen, and draws a door on the wall. He then tells all the patients that whoever wants to escape should use that door.
Immediately, they all rush towards it, but of course cannot go through.
However, one patient sits still at the back with a smile on his face. He has not moved at all.
The doctor thinks he must have been cured. He then asks the patient why he did not rush to the door, and the patient whispers, “They don’t know that I’m the one who has the key.”
