There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry.
So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spent it.
The first one went out and got a total makeover with the money.
She got new clothes, a new hairdo, a manicure, a pedicure, and the works, and tells the man, “I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much.”
The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gave them to the man.
She said, “I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much.”
The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man, and reinvests the rest.
She says, “I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much.”
The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money.
Finally, being the mere man he was, he decided to marry the one with the biggest br3asts.
A married couple is driving along a highway
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour.
The husband is behind the wheel.
His wife suddenly looks across at him and speaks in a clear voice. “I know we have been married for over twenty years, but I want a divorce.”
The husband says nothing.
He keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases his speed to 45mph.
The wife speaks again. “I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it.”
She says, “Because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and he is a far better lover than you are.”
Again the husband stays quiet but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55mph.
She pushes her luck.
“I want a house.” She says insistently.
Up to 60 mph.
“I want the car, too.” She continues.
65mph.
“And,” she says, “I’ll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards, and the boat!”
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
This makes her nervous, so she asks him, “Isn’t there anything you want?”
The husband at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
“No, I’ve got everything I need, ” he says.
“Oh, really,” she inquires. “So what have you got?”
Just before they slam into the wall at 65mph, the husband turns to her and smiles.
“The airbag!”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
