A man went to the police and told them that his credit card had been stolen six months earlier.
The officer asked him why he hadn’t reported it earlier.
He said, “Because the thief was spending less than my wife.”
So then the officer asked why he was reporting it now.
…
..
.
He said, “I think the thief’s wife has started using it.”
A squirrel is living in a pine tree. One day it starts to shake and rock.
A squirrel is living in a pine tree. One day it starts to shake and rock so he looks outside and he sees a large elephant trying to climb up the tree.
“What the hell!” the squirrel exclaims. “What the hell do you think you’re doing climbing up this tree?!”
The elephant responds. “I’m climbing up here to eat pears.”
The squirrel is befuddled. “You moron! This is a pine tree! There are no pears!”
…
..
.
The elephant stares at him for a moment before replying, “I know. I brought my own.”
