Shakey went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I’ve got trouble.
Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. “you gotta help me, I’m going crazy!”
“Just put yourself in my hands for two years,” said the shrink. “Come to me three times a week, and I’ll cure your fears.”
“How much do you charge?”
“A hundred dollars per visit.”
“I’ll sleep on it,” said Shakey.
Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. “Why didn’t you ever
come to see me again?” asked the psychiatrist.
“For a hundred buck’s a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars.”
“Is that so! How?”
…
..
.
“He told me to cut the legs off the bed!”
Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip.
Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment.
On the first day, they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything.
The same thing happens on the second day and on the third day.
It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they’re driving home they’re really depressed.
One guy turns to the other and says, “Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?”
…
..
.
The other guy says, “Wow! Then it’s a good thing we didn’t catch anymore!”
