A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP!… BUMP!… BUMP!…
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP!… BUMP!… BUMP!…
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.
FASTER… FASTER…
BUMP… BUMP… BUMP…
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping…
Clappity-BUMP… Clappity-BUMP… Clappity-BUMP…
…on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…
and,
The coffin stops.
Joe spent the evening tossing down a number of beers at the local bar.
It was after eleven o’clock when he finally staggered out into the cold and rainy night in an attempt to find his way home. With the weather as bad as it was, he soon became lost, and found himself wandering through the town Cemetery. He slipped while walking and fell headlong into a freshly dug grave. In his condition, the rain and mud proved too much to handle, and he couldn’t manage to climb out.
“Help!” he cried out. “Help! I’m so cold!”
A little while later, another over indulged inebriant left the bar. As luck would have it, the second man was nearby when he heard Joe cry.
“Help, I’m so cold!” Joe continued to call.
The other man staggered in the direction of the voice. It got louder and louder as he neared the cemetery.
“Help! I’m cold! Help! I’m cold!”
The second man followed the voice and approached the grave. As he peered over the side, Joe looked up and yelled one more time,
“Help! I’m cold!”
“Of course you’re cold, replied the second drunk, peering down.”You’ve kicked off all your dirt.”
