A man was tired of being bossed around by his wife, so he went to see a psychiatrist.
The doctor told him, “You don’t have to let your wife push you around. Go home and show her who’s the boss!”
Feeling bold and full of confidence, the man stormed into the house, slammed the door, looked his wife straight in the eye, and said: “From now on, I’m in charge around here! I want dinner on the table right away, and after that, you’re going to lay out my best clothes, because I’m going out with the boys tonight. And you’re staying home where you belong! Oh — and one more thing — do you know who’s going to tie my bow tie?”
His wife looked at him calmly and replied, “Of course I do… the undertaker!”
Moral of the story: Choose your battles wisely, fellas!
LOL!!
My husband and I attended a bridal fair
My husband and I attended a bridal fair, trying to drum up work for his fledgling wedding photography business.
One vendor assumed we were engaged and asked when the big day was.
“Oh, we’ve been married ten years,” I said.
“Really?” she asked. “But you look so happy.”
After being married for 50 years
After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, ‘Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed, and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep with a hot 23-year-old girl every night.
Now, I have a $500,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed, and a large-screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 69-year-old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.’
My wife is a very reasonable woman.
She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed, and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.
Aren’t older women great? They know how to solve an old guy’s problems.”
