A man wants to be baptized
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?”
“I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests.”
“I don’t mean that,” the priest responded. “I mean, are you prepared spiritually?”
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“Oh, sure,” came the reply. “I’ve got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey.”
A blonde walks into a shoe store
A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes.
“How do they feel?” asks the sales clerk.
“Well, they feel a bit tight,” replies the blonde.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the blonde’s feet.
“Try pulling the tongue out,” offers the clerk.
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“Nath, they still feelth a bit tight,” the blonde replies.