A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?”
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About two hours.” The guy left.
A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?”
The barber looked around at the shop and said, “About 90 minutes.” Again the guy left.
The barber turned to his friend and said, “Hey, Bob, do me a favor. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.”
A little while later, Bob returned to the shop and the barber asked, “So, where the hell does he go when he leaves?”
Bob replied, “Your house.”
An elephant and a turtle.
An elephant was drinking at a watering hole when a turtle approached.
The elephant looked at the turtle for a minute and then gave it a swift kick. The turtle flew through the air and landed several hundred feet away.
A zebra standing close by asking, “Why did you kick that turtle?”
“Well,” the elephant replied, “That turtle was the one that bit me almost fifty years ago.”
“And you remembered him after all these years? Boy, you sure do have a good memory.”
The elephant looked at the zebra for a minute and said,