A man walks into his doctor’s office and sits down in the waiting room.
While he is waiting his turn to be seen, a casual acquaintance walks in and sits down next to him.
The newcomer asks, “W w what are yyy you ddd doing here?”
The man replies, “I am waiting to see the doctor.”
“W wwhy dd do yyy you wwant to sss see hhim?”
The man replies, “Well, if you must know, I have a prostate problem.
“A pp prostate ppp problem, wwhat’s ttthat?”
“Well, if you must know. I pee like you talk.”
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Harris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”
Harris replied: “Just doing what you said, Doc. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.”
The doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said, You’ve got a heart murmur – be careful.”
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The doctor finished his examination and asked the patient to step into his office.
“Sit down, Mr. Kay sen. After looking at these test results, I recommend that you have an operation immediately.”
The man thought for a moment, “How will this affect my hobby, Doctor?”
“What’s your hobby?”
“Saving money!”
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Jay shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude and said,
“Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment, but I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will”.
“That is very kind of you”, said the doctor emotionally and then added, “Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I’d like to make a little change”.
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An eminent doctor goes for a meal in a gourmet restaurant.
As he is inspecting the menu, the head waiter appears and tries to be particularly helpful.
“You might be interested to know that I have pickled liver, braised kidneys, and stewed tongue.”
“Sounds terrible,” says the doctor. “Call my assistant and make an appointment for tomorrow. Right now, I’ll have the fish.”
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An old woman went to see her doctor about her constipation problem.
“It’s horrible,” she said, “I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.”
“I see. Have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor.
“Yes, doctor,” she replied, “I sit in the bathroom for 20 minutes in the morning and again at night.”
“No,” the doctor said, `I mean, do you take anything?”
“Naturally,” she answered, “I take a book.”
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Oliver`s wife, Amelia, and kids all came down with the flu.
Upon returning home from the pediatrician`s office with his four kids, he turned his attention to his ailing wife.
After preparing some chicken soup for her, he picked up the phone to call her doctor.
The receptionist picked up and he related the situation to her. She then told him that the office was going to be closed for a couple of days, but that his wife could have an appointment in 3 days.
Oliver went ballistic and yelled into the phone, “Three days?! The doctor can`t see her for three days?! She could be dead by then!”
Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, “If so, would you please call to cancel the appointment?”
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Two doctors, Dean and Gable, are treating a man with lung disease.
They’re explaining how his sm.o.king w*d has led to his condition worsening.
“But it’s just herbal!” the patient protested. “How can it be bad?” Dr. Jenkins sighed.
“Nature isn’t all innocent. Apricot stones contain lethal amounts of cyanide. There is a certain plant in my back garden – if you sit under it for just 5 minutes, you will die. Just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it’s safe for you!”
The man seemed to accept that, and promised to stop his smoking.
After he left, the doctors went to lunch. As they were sitting down to eat, Dr. Smith asked, “Oh by the way, what IS that plant that kills you if you sit under it?”
“A water lily.”
