A man comes home from work one day and asks his wife “Can you get me a beer before it starts?”
The wife gets the beer and he drinks it in one chug.
He asks his wife again “Can you get me a beer before it starts?”
Again, the wife gets the beer and he drinks it in one chug again.
Once more he asks his wife “Can you get me a beer before it starts?”
At that point, the wife says “Are you sure you want another beer? Isn’t two enough for the evening?”
…
..
.
The man replies: “aaaand it started.”
An angry wife to her husband on phone
An angry wife to her husband on phone:
“Where the hell are you?”
Husband: “Darling, you remember that jewelry shop where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it, and I didn’t have money that time, and I said ‘Baby it’ll be yours one day’?”
Wife, with a smile and blushing: “Yeah I remember that my love!”
Husband: “I’m in the pub just next to that shop.”
