A maid asks for a pay rise.
“Why do you deserve one?” asks the lady of the house.
“Well, there are three reasons,” replies the maid, “Firstly, I iron better than you.”
“Who said that you iron better?” asks the lady of the house.
“Your husband said so,” replies the maid. “The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.”
“Nonsense,” says the lady of the house, “Who said you are a better cook than me?”
“Your husband,” replies the maid. “And the third reason is that I am a better lover than you.”
“Did my husband say that as well?” asks the lady of the house.
“No, the driver did.”
The lady of the house doubled her salary later that day.
Wife: “Honey let’s play a game?”
Husband: “Ok, what is the game all about?”
Wife: “If I mention a country, you will run to the left side of the room and touch the wall. And if I mention a bird you will run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If you run to the wrong direction, you will give me all your salary for the month.”
Husband: “Ok and if you fail, I will have your salary too right?”
Wife: (smile) “Yes darling.”
Husband: “Ok” (stood up and was ready to run to any direction)
Wife: “Are u ready?”
Husband: “Yes, ready.”
Wife: “Turkey”
It has been 4 hours now the husband is still standing at the spot wondering if she meant the country or the bird.
A wife was with her lover when she heard her husband’s key in the door.
“Stay where you are,” she told the panicked lover. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re with me.”
Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed.
He turned to his wife: “Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?!?”
“Nonsense,” said the wife. “You’re so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there.”
The husband climbed out of bed and counted. “One, two, three, four. Oh ok, you were right.”
