A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?”
She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.”
“No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?”
“It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar, your honor” she responded.
“I mean,” he continued, “What are your relations like?”
“I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband’s parents.”
He said, “Do you have a real grudge?”
“No,” she replied, “We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.”
“Please,” he tried again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?”
“Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.”
“Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?”
“Yes,” she responded, “about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.”
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why do you want a divorce?”
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“Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied. “I’ve never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He says he just can’t communicate with me!!
A man buys 2 apple seeds and becomes smarter.
A man was idling in the street, bored when he saw a man selling apples close by.
He approached the man, and asked, “How much do these apples cost?”.
The vendor replied, “An apple costs $1 and an apple seed costs $2.”.
Confused, the man asked, “Why are you selling the seeds? and why are they so expensive?”.
The vendor said, “Apple seeds are actually known to make you so many times smarter. Why don’t you try them?”.
Skeptical, the man handed over $4 and purchased two seeds. As he walked a little bit away and started chewing them, he realized that he could have just bought an apple and eaten those seeds.
Hurrying back to the vendor, he asked, “Don’t you realize that people could just buy an apple and eat those seeds instead of buying seeds separately?”.
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The vendor smiled, and said, “See? I told you that you’ll become smarter!”
