A husband came home, looking forward to a relaxing evening, only to find his wife in tears.
She sobbed, “It’s the druggist—he i.n.s.ulted me on the phone this morning!”
Furious, the husband raced to the pharmacy to confront him. Before he could even speak, the druggist raised his hand and said, “Hold on, let me tell you about my day…”
“I woke up late because my alarm didn’t go off. I rushed out the door but locked my keys inside—I had to break a window. On the way, I got a speeding ticket and then had a flat tire! When I finally got to the store, people were waiting, and the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.
I spilled a roll of nickels while making change, cracked my head on the cash register, knocked over perfume bottles, and the phone kept ringing!
When I finally answered it, it was your wife asking how to use a r.e.c.tal thermometer… And sir, I TOLD her!”
A woman went with her husband to his doctor’s appointment.
A woman went with her husband to his doctor’s appointment.
After the checkup, the doctor asked to speak with her privately.
He said, “Your husband is suffering from a serious illness, compounded by extreme stress. If you don’t follow these instructions, he’s unlikely to survive.”
The wife listened intently as the doctor continued:
“Each morning, prepare him a healthy breakfast and help him start the day in a good mood. For lunch, make sure he eats a nutritious meal, and for dinner, cook something extra special.
Avoid giving him any chores—he’ll likely be exhausted from work. Don’t bring up your problems, as it will only add to his stress. And lastly, make sure to fulfill his every s.3.x.ual d.e.sir3 several times a week.”
The doctor concluded, “If you do all this consistently for 10 months to a year, I’m confident he’ll recover fully.”
On the drive home, the husband asked his wife, “What did the doctor say?”
Without hesitation, she replied, “You’re going to die.”
