A hot dog vendor brings a homeless man to court for standing near the stand and enjoying the smell of the meat as he ate his bread.
Judge to the homeless man: “Do you deny this?”
Homeless man: “No, your honor.”
Judge: “Do you have any coins?”
Homeless man: “Just a few quarters, your Honor.”
Judge: “Give them here.”
Homeless man: “Your Honor, they’re all I have!”
Judge: “That may be so, but please just give me those coins.”
Homeless man: “Very well.” Hands over the coins.
Judge to the stand owner: “Pay close attention.” Drops coins on the table. “Did you hear that?”
Stand owner: “Yes, your Honor.”
Judge: “Excellent. Now you take the sound of those coins as payment for the smell of the meat.”
A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom
A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom, “A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.”
“Oh no, honey. What happened?”
“Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company.”