One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old son and beeped his car horn by mistake.
The son turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, “I did that by accident”.
The son replied, “I know that, daddy”.
He replied, “How’d you know?”
The son said, “Because you didn’t say ASSHOLE afterwards”!
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A laywoman was driving down the street in a sweat
because she had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking space.
Looking up toward heaven, she said, “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I’ll go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking wine.”
Miraculously, a parking space opened up right in front of her destination.
The woman looked up to heaven and said, “Never mind, Lord; I found one on my own.”
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An overweight business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds.
He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favourite bakery.
One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffee cake. We all scolded him, but his smile remained cherubic.
“This is a very special coffee cake,” he explained.
“I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning, and there in the window was a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, ‘Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffee cakes, let me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery.’
“And sure enough,” he continued, “the eighth time around the block, there it was!”
