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A chemistry teacher puts a $20 bill in a bottle of ethanol

For an experiment, a chemistry teacher takes out a $20 bill and puts it in a bottle of ethanol. He then asks his students if it will dissolve.

A student raises his hand to answer.

Student: No it won’t dissolve sir.

Teacher: Really good! Now can you explain to the rest of the class why?

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Student: You’re so cheap, there’s no way you would’ve sacrificed that $20.

Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip.

Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment.

On the first day, they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything.

The same thing happens on the second day and on the third day.

It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

As they’re driving home they’re really depressed.

One guy turns to the other and says, “Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?”

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The other guy says, “Wow! Then it’s a good thing we didn’t catch anymore!”

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