A burglar decided to rob the safe in a store.
On the safe door, he was very pleased to find a note reading: “Please don’t use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob.”
He did so. Instantly, a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises were floodlighted, and alarms started clanging.
As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard moaning: “My confidence in human nature has been rudely shaken.”
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A burglar was sneaking into a museum, and he had to get past the guard on duty.
As he snuck behind the guard, he couldn’t help but notice the guard had his head in his hands, and he was crying.
“I can’t believe I’ve worked here for 10 years, and everyone has forgotten my birthday again!” He moaned. “Longer hours, more work, and no appreciation! I can’t do this anymore!” The guard said to himself as he continued to sob.
The burglar could easily sneak past, but found himself feeling bad for the guard. Instead of proceeding with his plan, the burglar’s sympathy for the guard got the better of him.
He marched right down to the museum curator’s office and kicked in the door. There sat the director of the museum, the head of HR, and the head of security in a meeting.
“What are you doing here? How did you get pass the guard?!?” shouted the museum director.
“Gentlemen,” said the burglar, “I’m afraid you’ve let your guard down.”
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There was this burglary and the main burglar shouted to all the bank employees:
“Nobody move, money belongs to the government, life belongs to you”.
Everyone in the bank laid down quietly.
This is called “Mind Changing Concept –> Changing the conventional way of thinking”.
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When the burglars got back, the younger burglar (MBA) told the older burglar (who is only primary school educated), “Bro, let’s count how much we got”, the older burglar rebutted and said, “You very stupid, so much money, how to count, tonight TV will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!”
This is called “Experience –> sometimes experience is more important than paper qualifications!”
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After the burglars left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. The supervisor says “Wait, wait wait, let’s put the 10 million pounds we embezzled into the amount the burglars robbed”.
This is called “Swim with the tide –> converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!”
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The next day, TV news reported that 50 million pounds was taken from the bank. The burglars counted and counted and counted, but they could only count 20 million pounds. The burglars were very angry and complained “We risked our lives and only took 20 million pounds, the bank manager took 30 million pounds with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated to be a thief!”
This is called “Knowledge is worth as much as gold!”
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An elderly woman had just returned to her home
from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder.
She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, “Stop! Acts 2:38!” (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks, breathing hard. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, “Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.”
“Scripture?” replied the burglar. “She said she had an ax and two 38’s!”
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It so happened that once a rich merchant’s house was robbed.
The merchant suspected that the thief was one of his servants. So he went to Birbal and mentioned the incident. Birbal went to his house and assembled all of his servants and asked that who stole the merchant’s things. Everybody denied.
Birbal thought for a moment, then gave a stick of equal length to all the servants of the merchant and said to them that the stick of the real thief will be longer by two inches tomorrow. All the servants should be present here again tomorrow with heir sticks.
All the servants went to their homes and gathered again at the same place the next day. Birbal asked them to show him their sticks. One of the servants had his stick shorter by two inches. Birbal said, “This is your thief, merchant.”
Later the merchant asked Birbal, “How did you catch him?” Birbal said, “The thief had already cut his stick short by two inches in the night fearing that his stick will be longer by two inches by morning.”
