After spending the longest two hours of his life with a painfully awkward blind date, this poor guy was done. He couldn’t take another second.
Thankfully, he had planned and asked a buddy to call him mid-evening—just in case he needed an escape hatch.
Right on cue, the phone rang. He stepped away from the table, picked up the call, and came back wearing his best tragic face.
He sat down, looked solemnly at his date, and said:
“I’m so sorry… I have to go. My grandfather just passed away.”
Without missing a beat, his date let out a dramatic sigh of relief and said:
“Oh, thank heavens! If yours hadn’t, mine was about to!”
An elderly couple was driving across the country.
An elderly couple was driving across the country.
While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol.
“Ma’am, did you know you were speeding?” the officer said.
The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?”
“He said you were speeding!” the old man yelled.
The patrolman then asked, “May I see your license?”
The woman turned to her husband again, “What did he say?”
The old man yelled back, “He wants to see your license!”
The woman then gave the officer her license.
“I see you are from Arkansas,” the patrolman said. “I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen.”
The woman turned to her husband again and asked, “What did he say?”
The old man replied, “He said he knows you!
LOL!!
