A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law.
One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her.
In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife cried, “What are we going to do?”
“Nothing,” said the hunter-husband. “That lion got himself into this mess; let him get himself out of it.”
Two Russian hunters meet.
“I shot a gigantic bear yesterday,” says Ivan. “Look at the hide!”
“How do you find such huge bears?” Sergei asks.
“Easy,” says Ivan. “You stand in front of a cave and whistle. When the bear comes out, you shoot.”
Weeks later the two meet again. Sergei is covered in bandages.
“Didn’t you follow my advice?” Ivan asks.
“Sure, I did. I stood, in front of a cave and whistled,” Sergei replies.
“And what came out?
“To me,” says Sergei, “it looked like the Trans-Siberian Express.
Two Irishmen flew to Canada on a hunting trip.
They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.
They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.
The two lads objected strongly. “Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours.”
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. The plane took off.
However, while attempting to cross some mountains even on full power the little plane couldn’t handle the load and went down.
Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, only Paddy and Mick survived the crash.
After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, “Any idea where we are?”
Mick replied, “I think we’re pretty close to where we crashed last year.”
