A 90-year-old woman goes to the doctor.
“Dr I can’t stop farting, sure they don’t smell and make no noise but still I can’t take it anymore.”
“Well take these pills every day and come back in a week.”
“Dr what did you do to me not only am I still farting now they smell as well!”
“Oh very well, now about your hearing…”
A nice respectable lady with a savory smell of perfume got on the bus and sat beside me.
After some moments I dared to ask her: “Excuse me lady do you mind me asking you what is the name of this perfume and where did you buy it from? I want to buy one for my wife.”
The lady responded: “It is Chanel and from Paris.”
About ten minutes later I felt a strong wind in my belly so I slowly blew it out.
Some seconds later she broke and said: “Offf…what is this smell, my God”?
I said: “Garlic and I am from Gilroy, California.”
A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night.
She was still feeling bloated from lunch, so she was fearful of farting in front of her date, who hadn’t arrived yet.
It wasn’t long before she did let one out, but she managed to cover up the sound with a fake cough.
She continued waiting for her date to arrive but wanted to make sure everything was perfect.
As she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up.
Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red-faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands “Stop that!”
The waiter looks at her dryly and says
“Certainly, madam. Which way was it headed?”
An old man goes to his doctor,
complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn’t heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor sees his leg, but can’t find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can’t come up with any possible explanation for the pain.
The doctor hands the patient his bill and says, “I’m sorry but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age, there’s nothing I can do about it.”
The old man replies with a look of disbelief, “That’s impossible! That can’t be!”
The doctor says, “What do you mean? I’m the expert here; if you know so much, how can you say it’s not old age?”
The patient answers, “I’m no doctor but it doesn’t take a medical degree to tell that your diagnosis is wrong. You’re mistaken. After all, my other leg feels just fine.”
“So what?” says the doctor. “What difference does that make?”
“Well, it doesn’t hurt a bit, and it’s the same age!”
