Joe and Bob decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby.
After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Bob gets called in for his interview.
The boss asks Bob if he had worked underground mines before? Banta says that he had.
The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked?
Bob says, “Oh, about 8 to 10 feet.”
The boss says, “Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here – you’re no miner!”
On his way out, Bob tells Joe to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job. Joe gets called in.
The boss asks Joe if he had worked underground mines before?
Joe says, “Oh sure.”
The boss asks how deep underground he worked.
Joe says, “I used to work in a mine 20,000 feet underground.”
The boss says, “20,000 feet, Wow! That is incredible!, “What kind of lights did you use in a mine so deep underground?”
Joe says, “Oh, I didn’t need a light, I worked on the day shift!”
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A man exploring the ancient Pyramids of Egypt while on vacation stumbled across a secret room.
He sneaked away from the tour group and explored the room.
He found a dusty lamp and picked it up. While he wiped the dust off the lamp a genie appeared in a puff of smoke.
“For freeing me from my prison, I will grant you a wish, what will it be sire?”
The man thought for a moment, then said, “I want a spectacular job, a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do.”
“Allah Ka Zam!” said the genie. “You’re a housewife!”
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Jay applied for the job of night security guard at the factory.
The boss looked him over carefully.
“The sort of person we need for this job,” said the boss finally, “is tough, fearless, aggressive, suspicious, distrustful, always on the lookout for trouble, and constantly ready to flare into violence. Quite frankly, you don’t seem to fit the bill.
“Oh, that is all right,” explained Jay. “I HAVE ONLY COME TO APPLY FOR THE JOB ON BEHALF OF MY WIFE.”
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Three girls apply for a job.
At the interview, they are told they will have to answer a question and then explain their answer.
Gwyneth goes first and is shown a cauliflower, a potato, and a knife. She is then asked which one is the odd one out and the reason why.
She ponders for a minute, then answers, “The knife, because the knife is long, yet the other two are round.”
Her answer was accepted.
Beryl goes next, and she also chooses the knife, explaining that the knife was mineral while the other two were vegetable. Her answer was also accepted.
Finally, Blodwen thought for a minute after being asked the same question, then replied, “The cauliflower is the odd one because you can make chips with the other two.”
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A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits.
The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee’s pay.
She said, “My last employer had full health coverage, as well as five years salary for life insurance and a month’s sick leave AND they paid the full premiums.”
“I can’t help but asking madam why you would leave a job with such benefits,” the interviewer replied.
The woman shrugged her shoulders and said, “The company went bankrupt.”
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Two blondes are working at a warehouse.
One blonde, tired of working, says to the other: “Watch this, I’m going to act crazy so that the boss will send me home.”
She climbs up the racking and hangs from the rafters yelling “I’M A LIGHTBULB, I’M A LIGHTBULB, I’M A LIGHTBULB!!”
“What are you doing?! Get down from there and GO HOME!” shouts the boss.
The second blonde picks up her toolbag and heads towards the door. “Where in the HELL do you think you’re going??” the boss exclaims.
“Well, I can’t work in the dark!”
