In the men’s room at work, the boss placed a sign directly above the sink.
It had a single word on it, “THINK!”
The next day, when he went to the men’s room, he looked at the sign and right below it, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read, “THOAP!”
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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff.
He thinks he’s smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than an sheriff from West Virginia.
The sheriff asks for license and registration.
The lawyer asks, “What for?”
The sheriff responds, “You didn’t come to a complete stop at the stop sign.”
The lawyer says, “I slowed down and no one was coming.”
“You still didn’t come to a complete stop. License and registration please,” say the sheriff impatiently.
The lawyer says, “If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don’t give me the ticket.”
The sheriff says, “That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle.”
The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it.
The sheriff says, “Do you want me to stop or just slow down?”
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The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was slightly delayed.
The daughter of the family was with them, on the theory that she would keep the visitors occupied during the wait.
The child was about six years old, snub nosed, freckled, buck-toothed and bespectacled. She maintained a deep silence and the two ladies peered doubtfully at her.
Finally, one of them muttered to the other, “Not very p-r-e-t-t-y, I fear,” carefully spelling the key word.
Whereupon the child piped up, “But awfully s-m-a-r-t!”
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It was very crowded and noisy in this restaurant and this blonde girl asks the waiter where the restroom was.
And he says, “I can’t hear you!”
So she gets close to his ear and asks again, “Can you please tell me where the ladies room is?”
And he replies, “On the other side!”
So she turns around and gets close to his other ear, and asks, “Can you please tell me where the ladies room is, please!”
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The story is told of a lady who was rather old fashioned, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language.
She and her husband were planning a weeks vacation to Florida, so she wrote to a particular campground asking for a reservation.
She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn’t quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn’t bring herself to write the word “toilet” in her letter. After much deliberation, she finally came up with the old fashioned term BATHROOM COMMODE, but when she wrote that down, she thought she was being too forward.
So she started all over again, rewrote the entire letter and referred to the bathroom commode merely as the “BC”. “Does the campground have its own BC?” is what she actually wrote.
Well, the campground owner wasn’t old-fashioned at all and when he got the letter he just couldn’t figure out what the woman was talking about.
That “BC” business really stumped him. After worrying about it for awhile he showed the letter to several campers, but they couldn’t figure out what the lady meant either. So, the campground owner finally coming to the conclusion that the lady must be asking about the local Baptist Church, sat down and wrote the lady.
Upon reading his letter, and with great shock, the lady quickly decided not to got to that campground.
The letter is as follows…
“Dear Madam, I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take great pleasure in informing you that a BC is located nine miles north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away, if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late.
It is such a beautiful facility and the acoustics are marvelous; even the normal delivery sounds can be heard. The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now there is a supper planned to raise money to buy more seats. They are going to hold it in the basement of the BC.
I would like to say it pains me very much not being able to go more regularly, but it is surely no lack of desire on my part. As we grow older it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold weather.
If you decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks (remember, this is a friendly community).”
