A father, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family at the weekends.
Every Sunday morning he would take his daughter out for was so sick that he really didn’t feel like driving at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and decided that for this week she would take their daughter out.
They returned just before lunch and the little girl ran upstairs to see her father.
“Well” the father asked, “did you enjoy your ride with Mommy?”
“Oh yes! Daddy” the girl replied, “and do you know what, we didn’t see a single bastard!”
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Mrs. Sullivan and her little daughter Patty were outside the church watching all the comings and goings of a wedding.
After the photographs had been taken, everyone had driven off to the reception, and all the excitement was over.
Patty asked her mother, “Why did the bride change her mind, Mommy?”
“What do you mean, change her mind?” asked Mrs. Sullivan.
“Well`, said the child, “she went into the church with one man and came out with another!”
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Baby: “Mommy.”
Dad: “No. Say daddy.”
Baby: “Mommy.”
Dad: “Crap! Say daddy!”
Baby: “Crap!”
Dad: “What did you say?”
Baby: “Crap!”
Mom: “I’m home!”
Baby: “Crap!”
Mom: “What? Where did you hear that?”
Baby: “Daddy.”
