Working as a pediatric nurse,
I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children.
One day, I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle.
“No, no, no!” she screamed.
“Lizzie,” scolded her mother, “that’s not polite behavior.”
With that, the girl yelled even louder, “No, thank you! No, thank you! No, thank you!”
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A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.
The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest.
Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn’t told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped very firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn’t come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence.
“Get well quick….. from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week.”
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A four year old little boy was at the doctor’s office with his mother in the waiting room when he spotted a pregnant lady on the other side of the room.
Having nothing better to do, he walks over to her and inquisitively asks, “Why is your stomach so big?”
She replied, “I’m having a baby.”
With big eyes, he replied, “Is the baby in your stomach?”
She said, “He sure is.”
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look on his face, asked yet another question, “Is it a good baby?”
She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.”
At this point, the woman is thinking the little boy is incredibly cute and looks forward to what he has to say next…
And, much to her surprise, with an even more surprised look than before, he asks, “Then why did you eat him?”
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A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked,
“Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?”
The father replied, “It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.”
With that the father went to the telephone and dialed a number at random. To the man who answered the phone, he said, “Hello, is Melvin there?”
The man answered, “There is no one living here named Melvin. Why don’t you learn to look up numbers before you dial?”
“See,” said the father to his daughter. “That man was not a bit happy with our call. He was probably very busy with something and we annoyed him. Now watch…”
The father dialed the number again. “Hello, is Melvin there?” asked the father.
“Now look here!” came the heated reply. “You just called this number and I told you that there is no Melvin here. You’ve got lot of guts calling again!” The receiver slammed down hard.
The father turned to his daughter and said, “You see, that was anger. Now I’ll show you what exasperation means.”
He dialed the same number, and a violent voice roared, “Hello!”
The father calmly said, “Hello, this is Melvin! Have there been any calls for me?”
