A blonde woman went to see a Doctor, complaining of an upset stomach.
The Doctor asked, “What did you have for dinner last night?”
“Oysters,” she replied.
“Were the oysters fresh?” asked the doctor.
“How should I know?” said the lady.
“Well,” asked the doctor, “couldn’t you tell when you took off the shells?”
“Oh my god,” gasped the lady. “Are you supposed to take off the shells?”
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A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested, then suddenly a whiskey came along.
Pizza thought, “Ok. I’ll let him pass, there’s no hurry.”
Two minutes later another whiskey comes by and pizza let him pass too, but two minutes later when the next one got there, pizza stopped him, “What’s going on out there?” it asked.
“Why, there’s a party going on!! It’s great! They’re having the most fun!!!” the whiskey replied.
And pizza said, “Great, I’ll go check it out!”
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One day a blonde went the doctor with a burn on her stomach.
The doctor gasped and asked what happened.
The blonde told the doctor she put a lighter against her stomach.
The doctor asked her why in the world she would do that.
The blond said “I was trying to burn calories.”
