A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue.
Alarmed by the old fellow’s absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to see him.
He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, “How come after all these years we don’t see you at services anymore?”
The old man lowered his voice, “I’ll tell you, Rabbi,” he whispered. “When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So, I figured that God is very busy and must’ve forgotten about me, and I don’t want to remind Him!”
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In an Anglican church, each service begins with a greeting.
The officiating clergyman says, “The Lord be with you.”
The congregation used to respond by saying, “And with thy spirit.”
But, with the modernizing of the liturgy, the minister now says, “The Lord be with you,” and everyone responds with, “And also with you.”
One Sunday a visiting bishop went to a church where the sound system was known to be old and unreliable.
As he approached the microphone, he tapped it several times and finally said, “There’s something wrong with this!”
Without hesitation, the whole congregation answered faithfully, “And also with you.”
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Down in the south, there are many churches known as “answer back” churches.
When the preacher says something, the congregation naturally replies.
One Sunday, a preacher was speaking on what it would take for the church to become better.
He said, “If this church is to become better, it must take up it’s bed, and walk.”
The congregation said, “Let it walk, Preacher, let it walk.”
Encouraged by their response, he went further, “If this church is going to become better, it will have to throw aside it’s hindrances and run!”
The congregation replied, “Let it run, preacher, let it run!”
Now really into his message, he spoke stronger.
“If this church really wants to become great, it will have to take up it’s wings and fly!”
“Let it fly, Preacher, let it fly!” the congregation shouts.
The Preacher gets louder, “If this church is going to fly, it will cost money!”
The congregation replied, “Let it walk, Preacher, let it walk.”
