The henpecked plumber rang the bell.
The master and the mistress of the house came to the door together.
As the three stood in the hall, the husband, a methodical man, announced, “I wish, before you go upstairs, to acquaint you with my trouble.”
The plumber shyly dropped his eyes.
“Pleased to meet yer, ma’am,” he mumbled as he held out his hand to the wife.
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I recently had a visitor from the state of Texas.
For three days, all I heard from him was… “In Texas, we have the best this, the largest that, the fastest that, etc., etc.” It eventually became very annoying.
I am from Niagara Falls, and I thought I could outdo him by showing him the “Magnificent Niagara”, knowing there was nothing in Texas that could compare to this “Wonder of Water and Power”.
While standing at the brink watching millions of gallons of water rushing over, I noticed the look of awe in his eyes.
It was then that I asked him, “Do you have anything like this in Texas?”
He waited a moment before he answered, “No, but we have a plumber who could fix it.”
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A man sits down on a bar stool and tells the bartender, “Pour me a drink before the trouble starts.”
The bartender looks puzzled, but pours him a drink.
The man chugs it and says, “Pour me another drink before the trouble starts.”
The bartender does and the man downs it as quickly as the first.
After a few more rounds, the bartender says, “Look, pal: you’ve had five drinks and all you talk about is ‘some trouble starting.’ Just when is this trouble supposed to start?”
The man replies, “Just as soon as you discover I don’t have the money to pay you for these drinks!”
