Just as Jay was about to fall asleep, his wife shook him and said, “I hear someone breaking in.”
At least two nights a week for twenty years, Jay had gone through this. He knew that the only way he would get any rest was to go and check it out. So, he went out for a routine check.
When Jay entered the den, he was surprised to see a thief. The man held a gun to his head and continued to rob the house.
As the thief was about to leave, Jay said, “You have to go and meet my wife.”
The thief said, “Why would you want me to meet your wife?”
Jay replied, “Well, she’s been expecting you for 20 years.”

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It so happened that once a rich merchant’s house was robbed.
The merchant suspected that the thief was one of his servants. So he went to Birbal and mentioned the incident. Birbal went to his house and assembled all of his servants and asked that who stole the merchant’s things. Everybody denied.
Birbal thought for a moment, then gave a stick of equal length to all the servants of the merchant and said to them that the stick of the real thief will be longer by two inches tomorrow. All the servants should be present here again tomorrow with heir sticks.
All the servants went to their homes and gathered again at the same place the next day. Birbal asked them to show him their sticks. One of the servants had his stick shorter by two inches. Birbal said, “This is your thief, merchant.”
Later the merchant asked Birbal, “How did you catch him?” Birbal said, “The thief had already cut his stick short by two inches in the night fearing that his stick will be longer by two inches by morning.”
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A man is walking home when he sees a dog buying meat for his owner.
The man watches the dog when the butcher takes a little to much and growls and him until he gets the right amount. The man follows the dog and watches as the dog stands on two legs and helps an old lady across the street. Amazed the man follows the dog home and watches the dog ring the doorbell.
When the owner comes to the door the owner takes the bags and tells the dog to stay in the front yard.
Frustrated the man goes up to the owner and yells “This dog is amazing! He gets your groceries, makes sure you have the exact change, helps old ladies across the street and this is how you treat him!”
The owner replies, “I know but,this is the 3rd time this week he left his keys”.
















