A young lad and his mother were walking down the street one day
When the boy suddenly yelled excitedly, “Mother, Mother, Look at that bowlegged man!”
His mother immediately hushed him, explaining it was not polite to make fun of bowlegged people.
The next day, the same thing happened. “Look, mother, there’s that bowlegged man!”
The mother grabbed the lad by the arm, saying, “When we get home, you’ll be punished for this outburst.”
When they got home, she gave her son a work by Shakespeare, “Go to your room and read this book. You can’t come out until you have finished it. Maybe you will learn something from this punishment.”
Two days later, they are walking down the same street when the boy again spots the person he had been making fun of: “Hark! What manner of men are these, Who weareth their legs in parentheses?”
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There’s a man trying to cross the street.
As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him. The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the car changes lanes and is still coming at him.
So the guy turns around to go back, but the car changes lanes again and is still coming at him. By now, the car is so close and the man so scared that he just freezes and stops in the middle of the road. The car gets real close, then swerves at the last possible moment and screeches to a halt right next him.
The driver rolls down the window. The driver is a dog. The dog says to the man, “See, it’s not as easy as it looks, is it?”
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A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice:
“Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.”
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted: “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die.”
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
“Where are you?” the man asked. “Who are you?”
“I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered.
“Oh yeah?” the man asked… “And where were you when I got married?”
