A couple was roaring down the road on a Honda motorcycle when the guy pulled over because his leather jacket had a broken zipper.
He told his girlfriend, “I can’t keep driving anymore, the air hitting me in the chest is unbearable.”
His girlfriend said, “Try putting your jacket on back to front.”
The boyfriend quickly made the change, and they continued roaring down the road until the next bend! The boyfriend was going far too fast, lost control, and the couple was both flung into a ditch.
A passing motorist stopped, rushed over to help, then ran to call the police.
The police telephone operator asked, “Are they showing any signs of life?”
“Well,” the motorist explained, “the girl seems OK, and her boyfriend was moving until I turned his head around the right way!”
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On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident.
The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,’“ and he left.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn’t work out; could you get a divorce in heaven?
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. “Yes,” he informed the couple, “You can get married in Heaven.”
“Great!” said the couple, “But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.
“What’s wrong?” asked the frightened couple. “Oh, come on!,” St. Peter shouted, “It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?”
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After four years of separation, a man and his wife finally divorced amicably.
He wanted to date again, but he had no idea of how to start, so he decided to look in the personals column of the local newspaper.
After reading through all the listings, he circled three that seemed possible in terms of age and interest, but he put off calling them.
Two days later, there was a message on his answering machine from his ex-wife:
“I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw the ads you circled in the paper. Don’t call the one in the second column. It’s me.”
