Morris realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money.
“How much do they cost?” he asked the salesperson.
“That depends,” he said. “They run from $2.00 to $2,000.”
“Let’s see the $2.00 model,” said Morris the miser.
The salesperson put the device around Morris’ neck. “You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket,” he instructed.
“How does it work?” asked Morris.
“For $2.00 it doesn’t work,” the salesperson replied. “But when people see it on you, they’ll talk louder.”
==============================================
A man is bragging about his new hearing aid.
“It’s the best I’ve ever had,” he says. “It cost $3,000.”
His friend asks, “What kind is it?”
He says, “Half past four!”
==============================================
An elderly man feared his wife was getting hard of hearing.
So he called her doctor to make an appointment to check her hearing.
The doctor said he could see her in two weeks, but suggested a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem.
“Here’s what you do. Start about 40 feet away from her, speak normally, and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
So that evening she’s in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he’s in the living room, and he says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens when I talk to her.”
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
He calls. No response. So he moves to the other end of the room, about 30 feet away.
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
No response. So he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away. He starts shouting.
“HONEY, what’s for dinner?”
No response. On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away.
“HONEY, what’s for DINNER??”.
No response. So he walks right up behind her and screams:
“HONEY, WHAT’S FOR DINNER??!?!”
His wife turns to him in a rage and screams.
