An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles.
The weather in New York was too bad to allow his usual on-time departure.
The weather in New York finally cleared, and the pilot requested his departure clearance. He was very dismayed to hear that he had another delay due to the increased traffic now leaving New York.
Sometime later, he finally received his clearance and decided he would try to make up the time lost by asking for a direct route to Los Angeles. Halfway across the country, he was told to turn due South. Knowing that this turn would now throw him further behind schedule, he inquired, quite agitated, of the controller for the reason for the turn off course. The controller replied that the turn was for noise abatement.
The pilot was infuriated and said to the controller, “Look, buddy, I am already way behind schedule with all the delays you guys have given me today. I really don’t see how I could be causing a noise problem for pedestrians when I am over 6 miles above the earth!”
The controller answered in a calm voice, “Apparently, Captain, you have never heard two 747’s collide!”
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A plane takes off with two hours delay.
Once in the air a passenger asks the flight attendant:
“Why did we take off so late?”
To which the flight attendant replies:
“Well, the pilot noticed some smoke and weird noises coming from the left engine and it took us a while to find another pilot willing to fly this plane.”
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Always wondering the pleasure of flying the aero plane,
a airplane cleaner came early morning to clean the plane and saw a book “How to fly an aeroplane for beginners. Part I” on pilot’s seat.
He opened the book and started reading, “First Press the green button on right to start the engine.”
Well he did and the engine started.
He flipped to page 2 and it read “Press purple button to start airplane moving on runway.”
He did and airplane started moving and catching up the speed.
He went to third page and it read, “Press the red button to take off the plane in air.”
He did and plane was flying. He started turning the pilot’s wheel and plane started circling, going up and down and was having lots of fun. He decided before any one knows to land the plane, go home and brag to his friends.
He went to next page and it read in red “To land the plane successfully go to the nearby store and buy Part II for beginners.”
