Wilson runs a nail factory and decides his business needs a bit of advertising.
He has a chat with a friend who works in marketing, and he offers to make a television ad for Wilson’s Nails.
“Give me a week,” says the friend, “and I’ll be back with a tape.”
A week goes by, and the marketing executive comes to see Wilson.
He puts a cassette in the video and presses play. A Roman soldier is busy nailing Jesus to the cross.
He turns to face the camera and says with a grin, “Use Wilson’s Nails, they’ll hold anything.”
Wilson goes mad, shouting, “What is the matter with you? They’ll never show that on television. Give it another try, but no more Romans crucifying Jesus!”
Another week goes by, and the marketing man comes back to see Wilson with another tape. He puts it in the machine and hits play.
This time, the camera pans out from a Roman standing with his arms folded to show Jesus on the cross.
The Roman looks up at him and says, “Wilson’s Nails, they’ll hold anything.”
Wilson is beside himself. “You don’t understand. I don’t want anything with Jesus on the cross! Now listen, I’ll give you one last chance. Come back in a week with an advertisement that I can broadcast.”
A week passes, and Wilson waits impatiently. The marketing executive arrives and puts on the new video.
A nak.3d man with long hair, gasping for breath, is running across a field. About a dozen Roman soldiers come over the hill, hot on his trail.
One of them turns to the camera and says, “If only we had used Wilson’s Nails!”
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There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory.
Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer.
They approached the heart of the factory, a huge hall with gleaming machines sharp as razors. The father thought, “this should impress him!”
He showed his son a machine and said: “Son, this is the heart of the factory. With this machine here we can put in a pig, and out come sausages.”
The son, openly sneering, said: “Yea yea, that’s nice, but do you have a machine where you can put in a sausage and out comes a pig?”
The furious father thought and said: “Yes son, we call it your mother.”
