Paddy, suffering from a severe toothache, finally got up enough nerve to visit his dentist, but lost it again when he was about to get into the chair.
The dentist told his assistant to give Paddy a shot of whiskey kept on hand for just such circumstances as this.
“Ye got your courage back now?” the dentist asked.
“No!” replied Paddy.
So a second shot was brought, then a third.
“Now have ye got your courage?” asked the dentist.
“You’re damn right!” Paddy said, squaring his shoulders. “I’d like to see the bastard who’d dare to touch my teeth now!”
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Marriage makes man courageous
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.
‘I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want any vaccine because I’m in a big hurry,’ the woman said. ‘Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way.’
The dentist was quite impressed. ‘You’re certainly a courageous woman,’ he said. ‘Which tooth is it?’
The woman turned to her husband and said, ‘Show him your tooth, dear!’
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A dinner speaker was in such a hurry
to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, “I forgot my teeth.”
The man said, “No problem.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. “Try these,” he said.
The speaker tried them. “Too loose,” he said.
The man then said, “I have another pair – try these.”
The speaker tried them and responded, “Too tight.”
The man was not taken back at all. He then said, “I have one more pair. Try them.”
The speaker said, “They fit perfectly.” With that he ate his meal and gave his speech. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him.
“I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I’ve been looking for a good dentist.”
The man replied, “I’m not a dentist. I’m an undertaker.”
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As my grandmother and I
were walking towards the United Nations Building in New York City, we came upon a street evangelist who was trying to get the attention of passersby.
He urged those near him to flee from the wrath to come.
“I warn you,” he roared, “that there will be weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth!”
An old woman in the crowd shouted snidely: “Sir, I have no teeth!”
“Lady,” the evangelist retorted, “teeth will be provided!”
