Little Johnny was at the mall with his mother when a man came walking toward them.
Little Johnny hopped up and down, laughed, pointed, and screamed, “Mommy! Look at that bowlegged man!”
His mother was so embarrassed. “Johnny, your manners are atrocious! You need some culture, young man!”
For the next month Little Johnny was forced to read Shakespeare every night. When his detention was finally over, she again took him to the same mall and sure enough, the same bowlegged man came walking toward them.
Had Little Johnny learned anything from the great bard? Yes.
This time, as the man approached, Little Johnny cried out, “Hark! What manner of man is this me sees, who wears his balls in parentheses?”
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Little Johnny’s father was a pastor in a small church.
One day, his father told Little Johnny that a very important bishop was coming and that he would be staying with them.
Little Johnny became very excited and asked his father if he would get to meet him. His father thought about this and decided that he would let Little Johnny bring the bishop tea in the morning and wake him up. Little Johnny agreed to do this and was very excited.
His father gave him instructions: first, knock on the door of the bishops room and then say to him: “It’s the boy, my Lord, it’s time to get up.”
Little Johnny was very excited and rehearsed his lines repeating them over and over. Finally the day came and Little Johnny had learned all his lines. He went to the door and knocked.
He was so excited and nervous though that his lines got mixed up and the boy said, “It’s the Lord, my boy, and your time is up!”
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So one day, Grandma sent her grandson Little Johnny down to the waterhole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him.
He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Grandma’s kitchen.
“Well now, where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” Grandma asked him.
“I can’t get any water from that water hole, Grandma” exclaimed Johnny. “There’s a BIG ol’ alligator down there!”
“Now don’t you mind that ol’ alligator, Johnny. He’s been there for a few years now, and he’s never hurt no one. Why, he’s probably as scared of you as you are of him!”
“Well, Grandma,” replied Johnny, “if he’s as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain’t fit to drink!”
