A woman is walking through the park when she sees a beautiful man sitting on a park bench.
He’s reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly, the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out.
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, “Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward, but I would love to grab coffee with you sometime.”
Flattered, the man responds, “Sure… but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?”
“Well,” the woman says, “A couple of things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden is my all-time favorite band. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old, and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden. ”
The man can’t believe it. “I saw them play Cleveland in ’99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each other’s houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city, and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavilion!” Naturally, they’re both shocked.
“If that isn’t weird enough,” says the woman, “I noticed you’re reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university, and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain, how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He’s my favorite author.”
Now the man is really taken aback, “Get out of here. I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th-century American literature. This is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer. I absolutely love Mark Twain.” They both can’t believe it; this has got to be a match made in heaven.
“Ok,” the woman says, “well, buckle up because here’s the icing on the cake. I noticed you’re eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm and grew them. They’re my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you’re eating a prune; this has got to be fate. What do you say?”
The man puts down his fruit and responds, “It’s a date.”
The teacher asks the class: Where do apples grow?
Smart Samantha answers: On apple trees.
The teacher asks the class: Where do pears grow?
Clever Curtis answers: On pear trees.
The teacher asks the class: Where do dates grow?
The class is silent.
Little Johnny raises his hand and says: On calendars?
