Beside a dumpster, two roaches lounged like kings at a banquet.
Tom, the more laid-back of the two, was halfway through a ketchup-soaked pizza crust. Oscar, ever the chatterbox, gnawed at a greasy napkin.
“Hey, Tom,” Oscar said between bites, antennas twitching with excitement. “You know that restaurant down the block? I went there yesterday to pick up some scraps, and I couldn’t believe how clean it was, I could practically see my reflection through the shiny waxed floor.”
Tom paused mid-chew. He slowly turned toward his friend, bits of soggy bread dangling from his mandibles. His face twisted in horror, eyes wide with disbelief.
“Oscar,” he said with a dramatic shudder, spitting out the remains of his meal, “please—not while I’m eating!”
My sister understands everything!
A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather’s farm.
The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister. He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken.
The girl was frightened and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream. He ran inside immediately.
She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chewing down on a plate of fried chicken.
“What is it?” he asked. The sister turned to him in fear and said,” It- it’s- IT’S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!”
Mary was having a tough day
and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well deserved complaining and self-pitying.
She moaned to her mom and her younger brother, “Nobody loves me…the whole world hates me!”
Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word…
“That’s not true, Mary. Some people don’t even know you.”
