Lil’ Johnny’s mother took him with her to the bank on a busy Friday.
They were in line behind a rather obese lady wearing a business suit, complete with a pager. As the mother patiently waited, Lil’ Johnny looked at the women in front of him and observed loudly, “Hey, Mom, she’s REALLY FAT.”
The lady looked at Johnny, made eye contact with his mother and gave an understanding smile. Lil’ Johnny received a quiet reprimand.
After a minute or two, Lil’ Johnny spread his hands as far as they will go and loudly said, “I bet her butt is *that* wide.”
At this the lady glared at Johnny. His embarrassed mother severely scolds her son.
Again after a couple of minutes Lil’ Johnny stated loudly, “Look how the fat hangs over her belt.”
The lady turned and told Johnny’s mother to control her rude child and his mother threatened him with his very life and existence. Things in the bank are quiet.
The lady moved to the front of the line when her pager begins to emit its distinctive tone. Lil’ Johnny yelled in a panic at the top of his voice, “RUN FOR YOUR LIFE MOM, SHE’S BACKING UP!” …
The banker saw his old friend Tom, an 80-year old rancher, on his farm.
Tom had lost his wife a year or so before, and rumor had it that he was marrying a ‘mail order’ bride.
Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.
Tom assured him that it was.
The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.
Tom proudly said, “She’ll be 21 in November.”
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the a young woman could not be s.a.tisfied by an 80-year-old man. Wanting his old friend’s remaining years to be happy, the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.
Tom thought this was a good idea, and said he would look for one that afternoon..
About four months later, the banker ran into Tom again…
“How’s the new wife?”, asked the banker.
Tom proudly said, “Good – she’s pregnant.”
The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, “And how’s the hired hand?”
Without hesitating, Tom whispered, “She’s pregnant, too.”
