Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?
Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?
Interviewer: Brown one.
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer: And the black one?
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?
Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?
Interviewer: Black.
Farmer: It eats grass.
Interviewer: And the other one?
Farmer: Grass.
Interviewer(now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!
Farmer: Because the black one’s mine.
Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?
Farmer: It’s also mine
There was a farmer who grew watermelons.
He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure.
He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign, which read: “Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.”
The kids run off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer’s sign.
When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing, but the sign next to his read: “Now there are two!!!”
This redneck was parked behind a trailer load of pigs near the zoo in Washington, DC.
As the truck drove away–one of the pigs fell out.
The redneck walked over and picked the pig up and placed it in the front seat of his truck.
He was sitting there looking puzzled when a policeman walked up and asked what was going on.
He told the story and the policeman recommended he take the pig to the zoo.
The redneck was sitting in the same spot the next day with the pig sitting up in the front seat.
The cop said “didn’t I ask you to take this pig to the zoo?”
The redneck replied “I did and he liked it so well–today I’m taking him to the movies!”
