While working on a message the pastor heard a knock at his office door.
“Come in,” he invited.
A contrite-looking man in threadbare clothes came in, pulling a goat on a rope, “Can I talk to you for a minute?” asked the man with his hat in his hand.
Wordlessly, the pastor indicated the chair and the man sat down in it gingerly. The goat proceeded to sniff around the office.
With one eye on the animal and one on the man, the pastor folded his hands on his desk and leaned forward, curious to hear the fellow’s story, “What can I do for you?”
“My family is hungry,” started the man. “So I stole this goat. But I feel that I have sinned. Would you please take it?”
“Certainly not,” said the minister.
“Then what should I do with it?” asked the man.
“Give it back to the man you stole it from, of course!” the pastor explained.
“I offered it to him, but he refused to take it. Now what should I do?”
“In that case,” the minister said, “It would be all right for you to keep it and feed your family.”
That seemed to settle things as far as the man was concerned.
“Thank you for your help, sir.”
With a lighter step, he walked out of the office, leading the goat on the rope behind him.
Later that afternoon when the minister returned home, he said to his wife as he walked in, “I have got a story to tell you.”
“I have something to tell you first,” she exclaimed. “Someone has stolen your goat!”
There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mine shaft.
Curious about its depth, they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing.
They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing.
They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole.
The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mine shaft in front of them.
The man replied, “Oh, no! That couldn’t be my goat. Mine was tied to a railroad tie.”
Two guys are out hiking.
All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them.
They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them.
The first guy gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.
The second guy says, “What are you doing?”
He says, “I figure when the bear gets close to us, we’ll jump down and make a run for it.”
The second guy says, “Are you crazy? You can’t outrun a bear.”
The first guy says, “I don’t have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you.”
