Three men find themselves at the pearly gates of heaven on Christmas Eve.
Saint Peter meets them with a stern look and a challenge.
“To get into heaven tonight, you must show me something that represents Christmas.”
The first man digs into his pockets, pulls out a match, and lights it. “This is a Christmas candle,” he says with a hopeful smile.
“Impressive,” Saint Peter says and waves him through.
The second man reaches into his jacket and jangles a set of keys. “These are Christmas bells,” he grins.
Saint Peter nods, letting him pass.
Then, the third man steps up, pulling out a pair of red panties.
Puzzled, Saint Peter asks, “And what on earth do these have to do with Christmas?”
The man smirks, “They’re Carol’s.”
If that joke didn’t light your Christmas candle, this next one might leave you laughing on New Year’s Day. It’s a story of holiday hangovers, memory lapses, and a husband waking up to a Christmas surprise he wasn’t expecting.
A little boy wanted a bicycle for Christmas.
A little boy wanted a bicycle for Christmas.
His mother said she didn’t have enough money to buy him a new bike but suggested that if he wrote to Jesus promising to be a good boy in the future, then maybe Jesus might be willing to get him one.
So the boy started writing out a letter. ‘Dear Jesus, I promise to be good for one year…’
He crossed it out and wrote: ‘Dear Jesus, I promise to be good for one month.’
Still, he wasn’t happy, so he crossed it out and wrote: ‘Dear Jesus, I promise to be good for one week.’
His head spun, he tore up the paper, and went for a walk.
As he passed the local church, he noticed a nativity scene.
When nobody was looking, he grabbed the figure of Mary, hid it under his coat, and ran home.
There he composed a new letter. ‘Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again…’
