When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day.
An angel came by and asked.” Why spend so much time on her?”
The Lord answered. “Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her?”
She must function on all kinds of situations. She must be able to embrace several kids at the same time. Have a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart. She must do all this with only two hands. “She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day.”
THE ANGEL was impressed: “Just two hands impossible! And this is the standard model?” The Angel came closer and touched the woman. “But you have made her so soft, Lord”.
“She is soft”, said the Lord, “But I have made her strong. You can’t imagine what she can endure and overcome”.
“Can she think?” The Angel asked…
The Lord answered. “Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate.”
The Angel touched her cheeks…. “Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her.”
“She is not leaking…it is a tear” The Lord corrected the Angel…
“What’s it for?” Asked the Angel
The Lord said. “Tears are her way of expressing her grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride.”…
This made a big impression on the Angel, “Lord, you are a genius. You thought of everything. A woman is indeed marvellous.”
Lord said. “Indeed she is. She has strength that amazes a man She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens She holds happiness, love and opinions She smiles when she feels like screaming She sings when she feels like crying, cries when happy and laughs when afraid She fights for what she believes in Her love is unconditional Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies but she finds strength to get on with life.”
The Angel asked: So she is a perfect being?
The lord replied: No. She has just one drawback “She often forgets what she is worth”.
Jimmy and Matty, ages 8 and 4, were excessively mischievous.
They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew if any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were probably involved.
The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. The mother sent Matty in the morning, and planned to send Jimmy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, “Do you know where God is, son?”
The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God?!”
Again, Matty made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “Where is God?!”
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “What happened?”
Matty, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time! GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!”
