Maria and Julia were old friends.
They had been friends for many years and had been married to their husbands for a long time.
One day, Julia visited Maria and confided in her that she was upset because she thought her husband didn’t find her attractive anymore.
“As I get older he doesn’t bother to look at me”, Julia cried on her best friend Maria’s shoulder.
“I’m so sorry for you”, Maria said. “As I get older, my husband says that I get more beautiful every day”.
“Of course he does”, Julia answered, “your husband is an antique dealer!”
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities have been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me. I know we’ve been friends for a long time, but I just can’t think of your name. I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.”
Her friend glared at her.
For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally, she said, “How soon do you need to know?”
The preacher, in his sermon, used “Forgive Your Enemies” as his subject.
After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands.
Not satisfied, he harangued for another twenty minutes and repeated his question. This time he received a response of about 80 percent.
Still unsatisfied, he lectured for another 15 minutes and repeated his question.
With all thoughts now on dinner, all responded except one elderly lady in the rear.
“Mrs Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”
“I don’t have any.”
“Mrs Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?”
“Ninety-three.”
“Mrs Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person can live to be ninety-three, and not have an enemy in the world.”
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle very slowly turned around, and said:
“It’s easy, I just outlived them all.”
One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when I walked into the house, he followed me, sauntered down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: ‘Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.’
The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: ‘He lives in a home with ten children – he’s trying to catch up on his sleep.’
