A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.
One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.”
“Oh really? Darn it!” said the little old lady.
“I’d better go back and see if I can find them.
Thanks for telling me, officer.”
“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop.
“Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”
“Oh, no, no”, said the old lady.
“You see, my backyard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through a knot hole in the fence, right into my flower garden. It used to tick me off, k1lls the flowers, you know. Then I thought, why not make the best of it? So, now, on game days, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy st1cks his th1ng through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it, and say, ‘O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.’”
“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing, “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”
“Well, you know”, said the little old lady, “not everybody pays.”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
A Little Old Lady Goes Into The Store
A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping.
She is confused by the large selection of toilet paper.
“Pardon me, sir,” she says to the store manager, “but can you explain to me the differences between all these toilet papers?”
“Well,” he replies, pointing out one brand, “this is as soft as a baby’s kiss. It’s $1.50 per roll.”
He grabs another and says, “This is nice and soft as a bunny, strong but gentle, and it’s $1.00 a roll.”
He points to the bottom shelf and says, “We call that our No Name brand and it’s 20 cents per roll.”
“Give me the No Name,” she said.
About a week later, she comes back, seeks out the manager, and says, “Hey! I’ve got a name for your No Name toilet paper. I call it John Wayne.”
“Why?” he asks.
“Because it’s rough, it’s tough and it doesn’t take crap off anybody!”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
