The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.
When the examination was complete, he said: “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”
“Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.”
“Okay,” said the man.
“Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”
A blond becomes terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nodded… “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”
“From hunger, you mean?”, asked the doctor.”
“No, from skipping everywhere.”
Patient 1: ‘Why did you run away from the operation table?’
Patient 2: ‘The nurse was repeatedly saying ‘don’t get nervous’, ‘don’t be afraid’, ‘be strong’, ‘this is a small operation only’, and things like that.’
Patient 1: ‘So what was wrong in that? Why were you so afraid?’
Patient 2: ‘She was talking to the surgeon!’
