A blond was rollerblading with her headphones on.
She stopped at a hair salon and asked for a haircut.
She instructed that the hair stylist could not take off her headphones.
The stylist replied refusing to cut her hair, so she left.
She went to a different hair salon and said the same thing.
This time, the stylist agreed to cut her hair.
After a while, the blond fell asleep in the chair.
To wake her, the stylist took off the headphones.
The blond immediately fell on the floor, flopped and died.
Confused at what happened, the stylist put on the headphones.
They were saying: “breath in, breath out.”
A blonde holding a baby walks into a drug store and asks the clerk if she can use the stores baby scale.
“Sorry, ma’am,” says the clerk. “Our baby scale is broken. But we can figure the baby’s weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the second number from the first.”
“Oh, that won’t work,” says the blonde.
“Why not?” asks the clerk.
“Because,” she answers, “I’m not the mother – I’m the aunt.”
Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a tall building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Bob and said, “Do you think he’ll jump?”
Bob said, “You know, I bet he’ll jump.”
The blonde replied, “Well, I bet $20 he won’t.”
Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, “You’re on!”
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building.
The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob. “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”
Bob replied, “I can’t take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news, So I knew he would jump.”
The blonde replied, “I did, too, But I didn’t think he’d do it again.”
Bob took the money.
